Nice or Interesting?

The thing about the recovery process is that people have many ways of dealing with it. Like an episode on How I Met Your Mother, you have those who plunge into a fuck fest, and then you have those who immerse themselves into work and/or other activities to distract themselves.

I tried being the guy who either immersed himself into work or other activities. At the same time, I tried dating others. I mean, who doesn't right? Who doesn't try to jump start the recovery process?

So, I got onto a dating website called OkCupid, created my profile and started messaging a lot of women. Fortunately for me, I did end up into conversations with some of them. Taken that it's a sausage fest out there, it's interesting that I ended up with dates with a few of the interesting women in cyberspace.

I know that these dates are short term, definitely. But the question from friends would always be.. what if things got serious? My answer would always be... "Yea, if it gets serious then good. But if not, I've learnt that one cannot get too serious in a relationship, if not, the relationship becomes boring and stifling."

One thing I think Singaporean men have to do, is *cues drum roll* 

grow some balls.

That's right, junior! But you know which ones are the most important?

When I say grow some balls, it actually means just that. Grow some balls.

OK, more concretely, grow some to ask a girl out, grow some, to not be so nice all the time and grow some to take some risks and fun with it.

I need some female input with this. Ladies (and since this blog just started yesterday, I don't actually expect any responses), from your dating experience, which does it more? A nice guy, or an interesting one? And if I am put in a few more permutations, an interestingly nice guy or a nicely interesting one?

Mr. Nice Guy

Mr. Nice Guy has always gotten some grief from people about finishing last in every race. It's so rampant that you hear people saying this in movies and then just to give viewers a good happy hollywood ending, the nice guy then finishes earlier... somewhere in the middle (but at the end of the movie - I may be typing this while I'm drunk. Maybe.)

He always goes out of his way to please women he meets, does sweet things all the time and shares everything about himself to his date, but at the same time, he listens and does not give any opinion. Wait a minute. Did I just describe a woman?

Mr. Hmm... Interesting...

Well, this dude is hard to describe, cuz interesting is different to each individual. But for me, my way of being interesting is... trying (yea... I don't actually know if I am) to be witty, funny, spontaneous, a wreck at times, and... basically - he seems to know what he's doing, but maybe he doesn't.

Now, with interestingly nice, I mean that he's being nice... but. How come he's always that nice?

And with nicely interesting, he probably has enough balance to keep the relationship natural. Needless to say, I would want to be Mr. Nicely Interesting.

This blog entry was actually supposed to be about how I might reconcile that having a crush on someone can be manly, thus explaining the picture below. And the reason why I wrote so much crap above is maybe... I might have a little crush on someone... but how do I know?

Crushes can be manly too!

Putting on the welder's gloves.

A lot of things happened in 2011.

My ex and I broke up - we lasted almost 4 years.
My grandma died - I'll drink a beer with her again.
I finally left my previous job which I hated and joined up a new one.

I drank too much - 3 times. Once in Bangkok with my new colleagues, once in Singapore with my new colleagues and another with a group of fantastic friends - even though the bouncers had to get them to drag me out and the taxi driver almost didn't want to take me.

I got into a fuck buddy relationship, I went to a bar in Bangkok alone where the sun really don't shine...

I guess I finally got to live a little. But it was an emotional wreck.

2012 - will be a better year. I will move on. I know there are other girls out there. I know that I don't need the female companionship all the time. You know what? I need my friends - Raymond, Brandon, SWCC, Melvin, Changrong, Maoxin, Dahua, Ez, Ming Feng.

These people I know and admire. How have they become so wise and mature? Maybe because I was too afraid to move. OR maybe I wanted an excuse to party it up. Let loose. I really don't know.

But Jackson - you're cool. I needed that talk. I needed to know that I have friends. Soka, I love you, even though it's always way too happy to the point where you don't really want to talk about your problems. I know you guys are cool and try to inspire.

I will still live my life, but like the consumption of alcohol - in moderation in both time and volume.